As many people will be aware, about six months ago, my partner and I moved into our brand new house. For the first time since leaving my family home when I was eighteen, I'm in my own home rather than renting. As a young adult, unlike many of my peers, it was always important to me to know my neighbours and to try to make an effort to have at least some small connection.This possibly came from growing up in a very small community where everyone knew everybody else and whilst it could be stifling at times, there was a certain sense of security in it. 

For at least the first few years of living in Melbourne, it felt very strange to me that people could live so close to one another yet not even know one another's names, so I was quite determined that I would not collude with that trend. I'm not sure exactly what happened to that commitment to at least meet and learn the names of my direct neighbours but in the last few years I came to realize I didn't know the people living around me and I really had no connection to my local community. I didn't know what went on there and I wasn't familiar with community groups or services beyond areas of my own specific needs. Given the work I do, I had started to develop a nagging sense of hypocrisy that I could talk about inclusion, connection and building community, while I really wasn't being at all intentional about this in my own life. Since leaving my family home, I have moved around a lot and used that as one excuse but in the lead up to moving into our new house, I could feel growing pressure to start making an effort.

We've been in the new house since the end of May and I've come up with loads of ideas for ways to start connecting, or at least learning what's possible in my new community - finding a book club, joining a singing group, joining a bee keeping club, even writing outraged letters to local papers and the council about the recent demolition of a historic house in the district. Have I done anything about any of these things? Well…no, I have not. 

So, what have I done? I have embarked on the creation of my garden. I am slightly obsessed with gardening and this is my first ever experience of creating a garden from scratch. Having moved into a new area, everyone else is in relatively new homes and they are also trying to figure out what to do with their gardens. While my passion for gardening may not be shared (I look forward to working in the garden, for others it's often a chore), we still have common tasks and are often in the back yard at the same time. The popular 'Neighbours Be Gone' screening plants are not yet well enough established that our synchronized presence in our back yards can go unnoticed, so we at least exchange pleasantries and more recently, frequently end up having quite in depth conversations. From conversations, we have progressed to being guests in one another's homes, swapping phone numbers and helping each other out when the opportunity arises (sounds uncannily like moving from presence to contribution right?).

I realize there is no earth shattering revelation here but I wonder how often we over complicate the means to connection and overlook some of the natural things that help to bring human beings together. Common purpose and actually being present with others as I've described here, is one of these things that could perhaps be reflected on more often. I frequently hear staff talking about connecting via activities and groups. Are people also looking for the opportunities that may simply lie in our back yards and over the fence?