I am passionate about my work and love my family. Sometimes
my life gets out of balance trying to juggle both, and find time
for myself. Does this sound familiar? How do you know when your
life is out of balance? What can you do? I want to show how
person-centred thinking can help - both on a personal level, and
also within teams.
The last few weeks have been excellent from a work perspective -
we held two great events that were both fully booked and
launched two new books, including one at the National Children's
and Adults Services conference in London.
At the same time, I felt my 'balance' slip. It was the 'little
things' that gave it away for me. I was catching late trains home
from London, grabbing a bag of crisps and perhaps chocolate as I
carried on with emails. I noticed that I wasn't sleeping as well,
drinking a glass or two of wine every night; and skipping my
exercise or yoga. My iPhone became an extension of my body and I
lost count of the time I looked at my most recent obsession,
Twitter.
In the support planning process there is a great question at the
end - 'How will we know that we need to review this support plan?".
In our personal lives, another way of asking that question is 'How
will we know that things are not going well for you?". The things I
have just described are my way of knowing the answer to that
question
I want to get sharper at noticing when I start to get out of
balance so that I can do something about it before it gets too
bad. It's a bit like the Johari window for me - there are
things that I notice that others may not (the extra junk food and
Twitter obsession) and then there are things that others notice
that I may not be aware of. For example, my husband Andy
notices that I am irritable and I don't do my strange 'opera'
singing around the house. I wondered what the other people in the
office or team notice about me when I am feeling more stressed?
What would I want the team to do if they did notice?
In my journal this week, I used the following questions to help
me think about this and what I wanted to do about it:
- How do I know when I am feeling out of balance or
stressed?
- What do I notice?
- What might others notice?
- What gives me energy or makes me feel good?
- What drains my energy or makes me feel out of balance?
- What can I change this week?
I know that there are similar approaches used in WRAP (a process
used in mental health services) and other approaches to relapse
prevention that have useful questions like these.
My action plan for getting more balance this week is to make
sure I am doing some exercise three times this week; not looking at
Twitter after 5pm; taking 10 minutes in between meetings to
breathe; going to the cinema with a friend and doing the photobook
I have been meaning to do for weeks.
It made me think about whether we know this information about
our colleagues. When I was working with Deb and her team last year,
we did a similar exercise and completed the following table with
information about each team member.
In teams that are striving to be 'person-centred' and in
families supporting each other, this is important information. How
can we tell by people's behaviour when things are tough for
them? What can we support them to do for themselves and what
can we do to help?
Do you do anything similar within your team or family, or for
yourself? Please share what you are doing and learning.
