This months blog is written by Jill Faber, a colleague of Julie's at HSA Canada.

I often think people visualize a dream or wish as an extra something that gets added to your life like a fashion accessory. Not really something you need, but it looks nice if you've got it, just don't show it off, and don't have too much.

Sometimes during a planning or training session I can feel like I'm trying to literately sell "it"  (the person's dream or wish) to the crowd.  One summer in 1989, working on commission at a jewelry and shoe store was enough selling for me.  I am no salesman.

But dreams really aren't fashion accessories are they? Why am I feeling this way? Of course I've met people that have been less than enthusiastic regarding the dreams of the people they support. They can dismiss the simplest of wishes, sometimes literally because of its simplicity! Why is it that when I start talking about dreams and wishes in planning and training I see the look of terror in some people's eyes? It seems that sometimes one person's dream is another's nightmare?

Often staff that support people with disabilities struggle with what they have defined as the "unachievable dream". We know we should dig deeper and understand why this dream is important to the person. But for most of us, some dreams are the most far-reaching possibilities in our lives. Reaching is good.

During training, I share my own dream of being an actress. I explain that I've had formal theatre schooling, I tried to pursue it, a little, but really it's a grandiose dream. I talk about how my dream relates to what I do for a living (I do love to tell stories), and how I keep myself updated in my interests in the theatre and movies, and if someone offered me job on television I would drop everything to do it. 

The funny thing is, that that there are always participants who want to talk to me afterward about my dream. After awhile, I started to see a trend in what people were saying to me: 

• I can help you- People want to tell me where I can go to learn or participate more about my dream in my community (this often bubbles up in Community Connecting Courses). 
• I'm like you- People want to share their dream of singing or dancing or acting. 
• I believe in you- People tell me I should keep pursuing my dream of acting. 
• I'll keep you in mind- People just want to tell me they liked my story. 

Maybe this should be the short list to start with when thinking about helping people with their dreams? 

• Can I help you and how?
• Who are the natural connectors?
• I respect your dream.
• I won't forget it. 

I have had the privilege of witnessing and being a small part of people's wishes and dreams coming true. I have witnessed and felt the ripple effect of excitement on the hot pursuit of a dream and the long lasting results long after the climax of the event has past. 

One of my favorite stories is about a young woman whom wanted to meet Richard Simmons, fitness guru. She had faithfully worked out to his videos every single day for years! During a planning session she expressed her desire to meet him. That would be a great dream! Of course as soon as she said it, I saw some eyes roll and the expressions of " oh isn't that nice" in the room, but onto to the action plan it went. She was going to meet Richard. 

The next day her support staff was in my office with that look of terror again. How could I put this on the action plan?  This is impossible! After some reassurance that she need not rob a bank to make this happen, I left her with the thought. " If you keep your eyes and ears open, and don't forget this is what she wants, something will happen" Did I know what would happen? No. But I knew something would happen if the support staff believed it would. And it did. 

Months later I am sitting in my office when I get the call. "Jill, she spoke to Richard Simmons! " The support staff was yelling it out on the other end of the line, and I had to ask her to repeat herself several times before I realized what I heard. Yes, the dream had become closer to reality. 

You see the staff had kept her ears wide open and that dream in mind.  So when she was listening to a radio show one lazy rainy Sunday morning, and heard that Richard Simmons was up next, and he was taking callers, she went into action. One telephone call later, from Richard's biggest fan, and tada = one incredible experience for the young woman. Days later an autographed picture from Richard arrived in the mail  She was suddenly blessed with that "you talked to a celebrity" buzz, and the conversations, laughs, and "oh my god, really that happened?' moments went on for weeks. 

I could go on and on about how that one moment reverberated through the group home where this woman lived. Suddenly the look of terror began to fade away from staffs eyes and staff wanted, yes wanted to help people pursue dreams, without fear, without concerns that they would let people down. Dreams and wishes became ongoing conversations, rather than a statement once a year at a planning session. 

Dreams and wishes had graduated from accessories to essentials.